A Baby?
by Resacon1990
Summary: "I'm pregnant." The words tasted foreign on his tongue, leaving a bad taste lingering there that wouldn't be washed away by anything. Ferb frowned and looked down at his stomach, wishing the thing would have been already protruding slightly just so those words would look true, so then his mind wouldn't tell him he was being unbelievably ridiculous and that the doctor was lying.


**Warning: Mpreg.**

* * *

"I'm pregnant."

The words tasted foreign on his tongue, leaving a bad taste lingering there that wouldn't be washed away by anything. Ferb frowned and looked down at his stomach, wishing the thing would have been already protruding slightly just so those words would _look _true, so then his mind wouldn't tell him he was being unbelievably ridiculous and that the doctor was lying.

But no, the doctor hadn't. The doctor would never lie to him. Not about something as odd as this. And especially not when Ferb had thrown him up against the wall and demanded the truth.

If Phineas hadn't been there then fuck knows what he would've done.

And anyway, it wasn't the fact he was pregnant that was scaring him. Oh no, not at all. Hell, he'd been wanting a child for ages and when he and Buford… _oh god Buford_… had gotten married they'd discussed adopting. And having a child that was actually a mixture of the two would've been the icing on the already brilliant cake.

No, it wasn't that, Ferb thought as he collapsed on the bed in his and Buford's room, grunting as he bounced back up. No, it was the fact that he doubted very much Buford would believe him.

See, a few months ago as a dare from Phineas, Ferb had gone right up to Buford and deadpanned with a completely straight face, "I'm pregnant". No one knew what was more shocking, the fact Buford fainted, or the fact that when he woke up he'd been completely over the moon. Ferb had watched with an open mouth as Buford had literally _danced _in front of him before scooping Ferb up into a tight hug.

He'd cried when Ferb told him it wasn't true.

Originally Ferb used to think that Buford was a tough guy, a complete mans man. Hell, he'd joined the army straight after school and was always working on cars or guns or some other form of machine he could get his hands in his spare time. That'd been when he and Ferb became even closer, bonding over the fine art of mechanics.

Fuck, their first time screwing each other had been in the middle of Ferb's garage, on the bonnet of some old pickup truck they were doing up, both completely soaked in grease and oil and Ferb swore that the petroleum jelly they'd used for lubrication (it _was _technically a lube) had traces of oil not meant to be inside a human body in it.

But _god_ it'd been perfect.

Now though, now that'd they'd known each other for well over ten years, had been in a relationship for six, married for two, Ferb knew that Buford was not all that buff and manly as he'd once thought. The guy wasn't afraid to sit down and blubber like a baby over a movie, sob over a book, have near fanboy breakdowns when something bad happened to his favourite characters. He wasn't afraid to hold hands or kiss in public, act like a total love struck fool in front of strangers, be a near exhibitionist and dork in front of friends and family. He didn't pretend to be someone he wasn't, he wasn't afraid to point out his own flaws.

And Ferb loved him even more for it.

But as soon as he'd painstakingly forced out that he wasn't actually pregnant, he'd wished that Buford was a manly man. He'd take a simple brush off and "I've had worse" over the cold stares, the tears, the anger he had to face for well over a week later.

He'd been torn between hating himself and Phineas afterwards.

But now? Now that he actually was pregnant was a mixture between a miracle and a nightmare.

He'd sat down with Phineas and his doctor after the diagnosis, wondering how it'd happened. His doctor had awkwardly admitted to giving him a pill with a strange side affect, something he'd only been on for six weeks to help a rather nasty set of burns he'd received from a backfiring car heal faster, and he'd thought Ferb had read the side affects. Apparently the pill helps to alternate some cells for faster regrowth, but sometimes found the wrong cells to alter.

In short, some of his sperm had been somehow changed into eggs. Eggs that, when connected with sperm would create a child.

Fuck science.

The doctor had then proceeded to state that despite all that, Ferb should never have been able to get pregnant as to access the womb the child was growing in was only accessible through the… through the anus.

Ferb had never blushed harder in his life as he'd explained that Buford had gotten a bit frisky when they were in the woods one day, and due to not having any lube on them… they'd had to find other alternatives.

Phineas had turned red, Ferb had dropped his head and the doctors mouth formed a small "o" shape.

Ferb groaned into his hands, his breathing slowing down into a gentle breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, pattern before suddenly he was jumping off the bed and lunging for his wallet and keys. He couldn't do this, he couldn't break Buford's heart nor his own.

He needed help.

…

Of course he didn't bother about knocking, instead just kicking open the door. He should've knocked though, as the sudden scream that echoed through the house and the way Phineas was suddenly grabbing a blanket to cover him and Isabella was enough of a hint to know what they'd been up to.

It didn't stop him from storming forward, dropping to his knees beside Phineas and burying his head in his brothers shoulders as he began to cry uncontrollably.

"I can't do this Phin'! I can't!"

The way Isabella looked at Phineas with a raised eyebrow was enough for Ferb to know his brother had told Isabella everything, and without warning he punched his brother in the guts, glaring at him with red, tear filled eyes.

"You fucking with me? You told Isabella? I haven't even fucking told Buford!" he cried, anger swelling up in him.

"I'm sorry! I just… I thought you'd tell him as soon as you-"

"_Buford _is out _working_. Not having a cheery old fuck with girlfriend as he spills all his brothers secrets!"

"I'm sorry!"

Ferb opened his mouth to let lose an insult that he would later regret, but was thankfully cut off by Isabella reaching out and touching his shoulder, the other hand clenching the blanket to her body.

"He didn't mean to Ferb," she said, her eyes filled with sympathy. "I forced him to. He came home all mopey and frustrating. It was either he tell me or I go and ask you. He wanted to save you the trouble of a pissed up me." She gave him a pointed look, gesturing at his whole person. "And I'm glad he did. I wouldn't have held back, and you seem a bit too unstable right now."

Ferb glared at her, the ultimate urge to actually backhand a woman for once rising in his guts. He was a gentleman by nature, except for when it came to sex, but he'd never actually wanted to hurt a women until now.

"Isabella, I hate to say this, but please leave," Phineas suddenly called, his hand resting on his wife's shoulder before pushing her slightly. She nodded and quickly got to her feet, briefly smiling at Ferb before leaving the room.

"Phin-"

"I am sorry Ferb! I couldn't let her go and ask you, but she wouldn't give up! I really am sorry."

Ferb just looked at his brother, wanting to punch him again but the sudden feelings of the whole situation that had disappeared for a moment came crashing back down and he was cuddling back up against his brother, pouring out all of his worries.

"I can't do it Phineas, I can't. Buford won't believe me, hell! Male pregnancy isn't even possible, I'm surprised he believed me the first time. But he'll think I'm lying again, and last time it crushed him and almost cost us our marriage and-"

"Wait _what_?"

Ferb instantly flinched, realising what he'd said. He'd never told anyone that, he barely even acknowledged that fact himself.

"Y-Yeah… one of our fights went a bit too far and… I kinda told him it wouldn't matter if we had a kid or not. It wasn't like he'd be around often enough for it." Ferb swallowed and bit back tears. "I didn't mean it, but we didn't talk for three days and he only came home on of them. He told me he had to think about us, about whether we can go on if shit like this was going to break us apart." Ferb was looking at Phineas with pleading eyes. "If I tell him… and it doesn't work out. It might just destroy us."

Phineas sighed and hugged his brother tightly, hands running through green locks of hair in a soothing way. "You can't think that Ferb, the doctor said it was only a one out of four chance there might be a miscarriage."

"Thats twenty-five percent! A twenty-five percent chance! Thats reasonably high!" Ferb protested, burying his head in his hands as his shoulders shook.

"You just have to trust yourself Ferb, and trust Buford," Phineas reassured, pressing a kiss to Ferb's forehead and forcing the other to look him in the eye. "He loves you, he'd loved you for years. Hell, his way of courting you was by using the language of roses! He must be one determined person to do that knowing that it would ruin his image, especially in the army, and would label him as gay. And being gay and in the army is not the most smartest thing." He smiled again, hugging Ferb tightly. "He'll do anything for you, just trust yourselves to make the right decision."

Ferb stared at his brother for a long time, heart in his throat as a few stray tears slipped down his cheeks. Finally though, he gave a small jerk of a nod before accepting the loving embrace his brother pulled him into.

"You're still naked. You realise that right?"

"Shut up, Ferb."

…

Ferb sighed as he trekked back into the house well after eight at night, dropping his keys into the bowl by the door and his wallet beside the bowl. He vaguely registered that Buford's wasn't there before wandering into the lounge and collapsing on the couch with a sigh.

He'd stayed at Phineas' longer than expected. Isabella had come out after an hour or so, leaving enough time for Ferb to pull himself together and be sitting there laughing quietly with his brother. She'd smiled and patted them both on the head as she walked past, mumbling a "thats a relief" under her breath on her way to make dinner. Luckily Ferb knew Buford wasn't to be around for dinner that night, so he was happy accepting the invitation to stay.

He hadn't expected to be so late coming home. But seeing Buford's still vacant car park had diminished all worry about not being there for when he got home. He'd been away for the past few days, out on some exercise in the north, and Ferb was anxiously waiting for him to come him for more than one reason.

With a sigh, he wriggled around until he was snuggling into the cushions of the couch. Resting his eyes wouldn't hurt anyone would it?

He woke up to someone gently calling his name, shaking his shoulder at the same time. Slowly his eyes opened, adjusting to the brightish surroundings before they focused on the face in front of him.

"Buford!" he cried, sitting up instantly and lunging towards the other. Buford laughed and caught his husband, all but dragging him off the couch and into his lap as he hugged him. Ferb pulled back with delight, kissing Buford lovingly before pulling away and resting their foreheads together, grinning happily.

"Hey Ferb."

"I missed you!"

Buford laughed and kissed Ferb's forehead, smiling at the enthusiasm Ferb was giving off. "Missed you too. I'm surprised you're not in bed, its well past midnight."

"Is it?"

Buford just rolled his eyes before standing up, scooping Ferb into his arms and walking towards the bedroom. Ferb used to hate being picked up, finding it rather annoying, but now he just relaxed into Buford's hold, head against his shoulder.

Damn, he was domesticated now.

With a giggle from both parties, Buford allowed them to tumble onto the bed, and with each others help they pulled off their clothes and wriggled in under the blankets, curling up beside one another.

Silence filled the room.

"Hey Buford?" Ferb piped up after a moment, his heart pounding in his throats, hands sweating, completely nervous.

"Yeah?"

"I… I'm pregnant."

There was silence before a rustling of movement made Ferb's eyes pop open. He looked up in time to see Buford looking down at him, a hurt expression flickering across his face.

"Really?"

"Yeah-"

"I thought you weren't going to pull this shit on me again," Buford snarled, throwing back the covers and getting out of bed. "Fuck you Fletcher, this is bullshit."

"Buford!" Ferb cried, sitting up and all but scrambling towards the other to grab his hand. Buford just yanked it out of his grip and pushed him back, watching as Ferb bounced back against the bed.

"Welcome fucking home."

…

When Ferb opened his eyes in the morning, his head pounding madly with a headache from his sobbing last night, eyes barely able to see _anything_, he instantly regretted it.

There was no Buford, no sight of him at all. In fact, the whole house was dead kind of silent and when Ferb managed to sit up he almost choked on another round of tears. The wardrobe he'd never bothered to close in the past few days was almost completely empty of Buford's clothes, only a few item of his were left hanging there.

He instantly dived off the side of his bed, scrambling for his phone in his pants pockets. With a sharp tug he pulled it out and began to scroll through all the messages.

_13 messages from Phin_

_4 messages from Isabella_

_2 messages from Baljeet_

_4 voicemails from Phin_

Ferb covered his mouth, not seeing Buford anywhere under the list, With a trembling hand he hit the first message from Phineas.

_Hey Ferb! How'd it go? Did you tell him?_

And the next,

_So Buford just came storming in an hit me, mind telling me why?_

_Ferb! What the actual fuck is going on? Isabella and Buford have just had the screaming match of the century!_

_Did you tell him? I swear! I was convinced he'd be happy!_

_Baljeet just texted me. Apparently Buford is crashing at his. What happened?_

_Ferb, why aren't you responding? _

_I just went to your apartment and you didn't open up. Where are you?_

_Ferb, I'm getting really scared here. Whats going on?_

_Baljeet just came over crying. Apparently Bufords a real mess. Isabella just went over to talk to him. Whats happening?_

_Where are you?_

_Why won't you respond?_

_Please talk to me._

_Ferb._

He choked on air, eyes squeezing shut as he finished reading his brothers long line of texts. He must be so worried, why hadn't he woken up when Phineas had turned up? Why hadn't Phineas just used the spare key? Dammit! Why did he choose today just to have his phone on vibrate! He quickly checked the voicemails, they pretty much were along the same lines except Phineas sounded close to tears and Ferb wanted to punch himself for not responding to his brother. With a sigh, he quickly flicked to the text from Isabella.

_Mind telling me why Buford came storming in and almost knocked out Phineas?_

_I don't appreciate being ignored Fletcher-Van Stomm._

_Seriously, the fuck is going on? Phineas is having a panic attack._

_I will kill you. Next time I see you, I swear I will kill you._

And then Baljeet…

_What is wrong with Buford? He will not tell me._

_Oh Ferb, you horrible person. He just told me. Why would you do this to him again? You know how much it cut him up last time. I am very disappointed in you._

Ferb couldn't stop himself curling up into a ball and he cried himself back to sleep.

…

When he woke up it was to the sound of the door bursting open and Phineas screaming his name. The sudden weight of his sobbing brother bothered him at first, but the memories of the texts made him reach up and cling to Phineas as he hugged him. No tears came. He was all out.

"Oh _god _Ferb! Are you alright? Baljeet told me what happened! I can't believe he didn't believe you! I'm so sorry-"

"Just shut up Phineas," Ferb whispered, his voice rough and hoarse. Instantly Phineas was quiet, his mouth open as if poised to talk but nothing came out. With a sigh he went back to hugging his brother, rocking them backwards and forwards.

An hour later found Ferb sitting at the dining table as Phineas prepared some sort of food. Ferb didn't care, it wasn't like it would taste like anything really. Even the tasteless taste of water held nothing for him.

Isabella had come storming in half an hour ago, ready to kill. Phineas had stopped her and explained the situation briefly. She'd stared at her husband for a long time, processing the words before looking at the torn up mess that was her brother-in-law before leaving, her face one of pure had tried to speak up, get her to stop, but Phineas had just put a hand on his shoulder and guided him out of his room towards the kitchen.

A plate of pancakes was shoved in front of him, completely smothered in syrup and butter. Normally Ferb would be devouring them, woofing them down at a pace only beaten by Buford himself, but with a small sigh he merely poked at it.

"It'll be okay Ferb, I promise."

He just smiled at his brother, eating mouthful so he didn't have to reply.

…

It took Buford three days to turn up, looking concerned, broken and honestly confused. Ferb glanced up from where he was seated on the couch, a book lying untouched in his lap as he'd stared out the window.

"Hey."

Buford's voice was quiet, and it made Ferb filch slightly. Buford was anything but quiet.

"Hi."

Buford awkwardly shuffled into the lounge, hands clasped together as he walked towards Ferb. A look of indecision was on his face before he chose to sit beside Ferb, a good distance still between them but closer than Ferb had expected.

"I overreacted. I'm sorry."

"You didn't. The last time I sprung something on you like that it was a joke. You're reaction, while it still hurt, was perfectly justified."

Buford looked at him, head twitched to the side and eyebrows drawn into a fond look. "You always do that. Make everything sound logical. I shouldn't have jumped to the conclusion you were lying."

"It's biologically impossible for a male to get pregnant. I don't blame you."

"Are we really going to fight over who gets the blame?" At Ferb's laugh, Buford smiled, leaning back against the couch cushions. Ferb didn't miss the way he moved close enough for their shoulders to blush. "So… you're really… pregnant?"

"Yes."

"How?"

Ferb sighed before beginning to explain, starting off with the basic biology before moving into the details of the pill. He had to remind Buford of the accident, give an explanation on the after effects of the pills before telling Buford just how they'd managed to conceive a child. Buford was silent throughout it all, taking it all in and Ferb could see him mulling over everything he said, fitting it into some sort of algorithm or applying it to something he full understood. Buford's mind was beautiful like that, able to understand something if he could apply it to something he already understood.

It took a whole hour to explain, having used as much detail as the doctor and then more. Not to mention the occasional breaks where Ferb would just sit there quietly and think about what to say. Buford would never interrupt, once he reached out and squeezed Ferb's hand as encouragement but he never once spoke up. But when Ferb finished his explanation and trailed to a final stop, Buford cocked his head to the side.

"So… we're going to have a baby?"

"Essentially, if the miscarriage doesn't occur in the next four to ten week-"

"_Ferb_," Buford interrupted, reaching out to cup Ferb's cheeks and enforce eye contact. "Are we going to have a baby?"

Ferb was silent, looking hard into Buford's eyes. He knew what Buford was asking, whether he'd take on the responsibility of this child. The miscarriage would either happen because of biological problems or because Ferb just couldn't deal with it. Considering they'd already destroyed all biological reason anyway, there was only the second option here. Ferb breathed in a huge breath, his mind racing over every possible outcome of every possible decision.

"Yes."

He didn't think he'd ever seen Buford smile as hard as he did as that word slipped from Ferb's lips. With a loud cry, Buford was on his feet and tugging Ferb into a hug, twirling him around as he called out in excitement. Ferb hung on for dear life, the sudden thrill of Buford's happiness following into him and suddenly he was grinning too.

As soon as he was put down though, he didn't have time to say so as Buford was crushing him a kiss, his lips moving frantically against his. It was quick, it was brief, it was unbelievably perfect and Ferb would never change the large grin on Buford face for a longer kiss. Ever.

"Oh god! We're going to be parents! Fathers!" Buford all but squealed, twirling Ferb in another hug before laughing again. With a quick kiss to Ferb's forehead he was suddenly sprinting towards the phone, a quick "I've got to call mum!" over his shoulder before he was suddenly yelling down the phone in overwhelming excitement.

Ferb had to sit down.

When Buford joined him later, buzzing with excitement and practically bouncing up and down, he shocked Ferb by pulling him into a firm kiss, a whispered "I'm sorry for doubting you" ghosting over his lips and Ferb instantly forgave Buford. He could never be angry at Buford, not for something completely justified anyway. He stilled blamed himself, but the way Buford was grinning made the blame slip away slowly.

"How far along are you? Mum was asking."

"Three or four weeks," was Ferb's reply and Buford's grin widened. "Guess this means you get to be there for all the morning sickness and hormones. Not to mention the mood swings and odd cravings."

The smile disappeared off of Buford's face.

"What? You think because I'm a man it means these things won't apply to me?" Ferb teased, leaning forward and kissing Buford's nose. "Don't forget, sex will a no no soon as well. Might want to get your ins now."

Buford all but carried a laughing Ferb to the bedroom.

* * *

**First ever Mpreg one! And its a BuFerb! WOOT!**


End file.
